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Ipad Time Wasters: Kitty Powers’ Matchmaker

Kitty Powers’ Matchmaker

Genre: Dating / Stimulation

Summary:  You work at a dating agency and you goal is to find love connections for your clients.

Thoughts: 

Here are the bad ones first:  I think the graphics could be better.  It’s not the worst that I have seen but definitely not great.  Some parts of the game got a bit tedious especially if you ended up picking the same restaurant multiple times.  The good part is that I thought the game was hilarious.  I got several good chuckles from the situations that the characters were involved in and the game developers were really creative when it came to character names and hobbies. The mini games were challenging enough and in some cases, you could cheat if you wanted too.  I don’t mind being a cheater so that worked for me.  Below, there is a small guide for some tips & hints on how to play and do well.

Recommend:

I would recommend this especially if you are just looking for a relaxing casual game.

 

Kitty Powers’ Matchmaker Tips:

  • Pay attention to how the character’s appearance and their attire.  This is a clue on what type of personality they are.  You have, for example, geeky, sporty, hippie, edgy and etc.
  • Astrological signs are not that important.  It helps but it’s not important to make a relationship work.
  • You need two or more personality traits to match up in order for the characters to want to start a relationship. (This is the 3rd tab on the profile)
  • 3 star rated characters do not like going to 1 start restaurants.  VIP characters are even more picky. The date will give you a strike for this.
  • Your date will give you a strike if you take them to the same restaurant twice.
  • You can only talk about most topics one time with the exception of interests.  You can talk about that up to 3 times with the same date.  Do not pick the same interests each time though.
  • You get bonus points if both characters have matching professions or matching hobbies / likes.
  • If the character gets their heart broke three times, they will leave the agency.
  • If their date reaches 3 strikes during dinner, the date will walk out of the restaurant.
  • Every time, you unlock a restaurant; you are also unlocking new mini games.
  • If you know your date is an extrovert, you don’t have to worry about passing the farting mini game.  An extrovert will not care if you fart.
  • A date, who is an extrovert, will not care if you talk to your ex in the restaurant.  You will not have to lie.  If you are on a date with an introvert, you will have to lie or you will get a strike from your date.
  • In order for a couple to have children, they will have to be an A / A + pair.

Dumpster Fire: IPAD time waster

Party In My Dorm

Genre: Social

Summary:  Leveling up your character to earn cash and fight in party battles.

Thoughts:

I have seen the ad for this game everywhere and I resisted the urge to download it because I thought it would be incredibly stupid. Two days ago, I thought why not; it is a free download and I can review it on my site.  I still think it is incredibly stupid but I found myself actually enjoying it in all it’s stupid glory. The premise of the game starts out with you (your avie) in college and living in a dorm.  In this dorm, you rent out rooms to other students.  These students help improve your intelligent & strength stats.  On a side note, this game is not realistic at all.  The stats that you build up are important in several areas but mostly in battles. You need a lot of cash to advance in the game and there is several ways to do this without using real money.   I didn’t get the impression that you had to put in any real money into the game unless you wanted too. I put in a couple of dollars because I did not want the default avatars.  The most fascinating aspect of this game was the chat area.   It was a big deep pool of perverts and a cluster fuck of horny young men.  I really felt at home there.  There was also a high volume of lesbians and that surprised me. With all this social interaction, it was a little overwhelming especially when the club leader tried to find me a boyfriend kind of without my permission.   Since it’s only day two of the game, I felt I needed to wait on having a gamer boyfriend.   I did get a myriad of boyfriend offers after I posted that I was looking for “a mediocre man with waxed balls.”  (See picture below)  So if I was in desperate need of a gamer boyfriend, I know I can definitely find at least a mediocre one with smooth balls. That was very hopeful.   Another thing I noticed in chat was that people were constantly asking for role play.  I was not sure if their definition of role play was the same as mine.  My idea of role play is typing out several paragraphs to form a story with another person as the character you set up.   I have not jumped into role play in this game to see if anybody actually did that or if they just typed horny filth to each other.  If I do a follow up, I will let everybody know.

Recommend: Even though, there isn’t a ton of brains required for this game, I do find this enjoyable.  It is also free so that is a bonus.  I would recommend this if you are into social games and don’t mind a bunch of horny fucks messaging you constantly.

IPAD Time Waster: Shedder Simulator Games

Shedder Simulator Games

Genre: Tearing shit up

Summary: Putting items in the shedder and watch it destroy things and make weird noises.

Thoughts:

I have not played this because I feel like in 2 minutes; I will be bored to death. As I said in the summary, you just put various objects into a shedding machine.  Judging by the picture, the developer offers a lot of things that you can just toss into the shredder even a bowling ball! (WOW) I seriously doubt they offer anything cool like a cucumber or human body parts.  It looks like the graphics are sub-par at best but I’m sure the sound effects would be over the top amazing.  I also read some of the best reviews for a game on here.  Players were getting super detailed about how the items should drop down the shedder which I found fascinating that somebody would take the time out of their busy day to write that review.

Recommend:

Probably not but read the reviews.

Ipad Time Waster Games: Dream Daddy

Dream Daddy – A Dad Dating Simulator

Genre: Roleplaying and complete & utter fantasy

Summary: A Dad Dating Simulator where you play a dad with daughter, who recently just moved into town. Of course, the first thing a dad wants to do is romance other hot dads!

Thoughts:

I have not played this game and probably never will because this screams hot mess to me.  I’m also not interested in unrealistic role-play no matter how cool the outfits are.  Oddly, this game has a high rating too.  It looks like you can build your dad with different looks and then meet random men at various locations.  I’m assuming to hook up.  The examples of dads (Picture below) does not appeal to me.  We have what looks like a vampire, a frat boy and a dirty bike mechanic with an alcohol problem.  Then beside him, it is says “Build that dad! With a picture of a guy that looks like he has moobs and shops at hot topic.  It looks like the demographic for this game would be young gay / bi-sexual male gamers that love to date men with children.  Which is not a wide marketing field there.

Since, I have never played it; I can only speculate how the game play would be.  Here goes:  Day one: Build your very own dad and dress him in a sexy outfit. (Polo shirt and hot pants) Day two: Meet another hot dad at the local biker bar where drinks are ½ price until 7 pm.   After you had a few minutes of small talk and are well past drunk, you make out with other hot dad in the back alley.  Day three:  Hungover and bruised, you explained to your daughter how you use her as a prop to lure in other hot dads and that her mother is missing.  (Boating accident, you believe) Day four:  Two hot dads fight for your affection! One is an out of shape millionaire and the other is a poor Latino pool boy, who will you choose!   I could go on forever with this but I won’t.

Recommend:

I cannot recommend this since I won’t even play it myself.  Maybe if they could come out with another addition (part two), moms looking for mediocre men that aren’t complete fucks, I would play that.

Dumpster Fire

I am adding a new section to this site. (See top menu) It is where I will be posting my reviews and other bs at.  I have two sections so far: Netflix Reviews and IPAD Time Waster Games. I will be adding more to this section fairly often in the next coming weeks as most of it is already written. (about 100 lolz.)  Categories to come are: YouTube Melts My Mind – which will be a mixture of videos/people I like and other things that I’m sure somebody was on acid when they made it.  I know this isn’t really an interactive site but if you wanted to contact me with a category, you would like me to toss in the mix – I sure would like to hear from you.   See contact form below.

I suppose I should have a disclaimer so some hipster doesn’t get up in my shit.  My quote aka disclaimer: “My opinion and advice is shit at best. Please, lower your expectations and do not believe at any point in time now or in the future will I provide valuable reading material.  Thank you.” end quote / disclaimer. 

What I have posted so far:

Netflix Reviews:

The Silence

Murder Mystery

IPAD Time Waster Games:

Wonka’s World of Candy

My Cafe

Best Friends 

 

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