I been checking Steam lately for gaming deals and I have been recommended a shit ton of these games. It says its because I played some nudity game which I think is Conan Exiles. (I swear!) After checking into these games, I realized there is a lot of lonely desperate and horny men out there.
Reading the reviews was actually pretty hilarious. Here are a few of my favorite ones that I read. These are all from Dick, Dine and Dash.
Surviving Second Life with some pro tips thrown in.
(Written with the help of my friend, Gigi)
Second Life has been a social game that’s been around for over a decade now. There’s not much point to it. There is no end game. It’s just a place where people can socialize in a virtual realm. It’s a place where I have met many friends and a few fuck wits. It is still a place where I will log into for a chat and have a nice relax. Like all games, if you can call it that, there are rules. So here is a very loose guide for surviving Second Life.
Appearance matters. If you look like a noob, you are treated like one. This is completely shitty but true.
Avoid “Breedables.” They cause lag and suck the linden out of your wallet. On an off note, you can’t see them breed.
Singing in a Karaoke contest does not make you a professional singer in Second Life.
Never cam or send real life pictures. You never know what porn site they might end up on.
Meeting people in real life is going to be a disaster 90% of the time, unless you know them for over 4 years and even then, they may end up being a racist redneck from Jersey.
Most female avatars are male. Very few females are male avatars.
Second Life is overrun with narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and a few borderlines. All the gaslighting can be exhausting.
Ghosting is a thing and a lot of the Second Life population is dying of cancer.
If somebody asks you to pose on the ball, say no. They just want to ass rape you.
Nobody in Second life is ugly in Real life.
There are modeling classes in Second Life. Passing this course, does not actually make you a model in SL.
AFK hookers are a profession in Second Life.
Never give out your password to anybody. (Not even the love of your life in SL)
Very few Second Life relationships last longer than a month.
If you are going to “disappear” and “reappear” as an alt, don’t hang out at the same locations as before and try to pick up the same women. We know who you are, dipshit.
Gachas will ruin your life.
Don’t put your home landmark in your profile. People will stalk and put tracking devices there. (Welcome)
Flexi is not sexy. Neither is white hair with bad tans and 80’s eagle tattoos.
Don’t be too judge-y in SL, even with the people wearing cow utters carrying a milking machine.
People will judge you.
Free stuff isn’t always good.
Organize your inventory and label those fucking folders.
Second Life is filled with perversion and some nice music.
Everybody has alts and sometimes, they are dual logged.
If you want people to speak with you, then keep your dick in your pants.
Make your dick size realistic if you do need to have it hanging out.
Chat hubs are a cesspool of stupidity and will melt your mind.
Being an SL designer requires hard work….repeat….HARD WORK. It is not easy, and you will not be rich.
Use the Firestorm viewer. (Welcome)
Make your crosshairs private.
Learn to cam. It will help you shop in a place with tons of lag.
If you went the extra mile and bought a mesh body, match the neck to the head. I can’t take it anymore.
If you go to a club, it is not a rule that you have to play a gesture constantly.
Don’t beg for Linden and do not give money to beggars.
Most Dom’s are subs.
If you must meet somebody in real Life after knowing them in Second Life, be sure to ask them their penis size. There is such a thing as being too big.
Sometimes, your ex boyfriends turn out to be secret furries.
Women will send you stolen pictures / fake nudes. Just quit asking for them. Match the hands / face/ breasts/ to all the pictures dumbass.
Don’t log off naked.
There will be times when you will somebody literally screwing anything. Just turn away.
You don’t have to voice verify with anybody. They just want to hear your sweet angel voice to jerk off to.
If you are going to combat in SL, realize there is lag because SL is not built to handle combat. So you do not need to say every few mins “Why is there so much lag.”
Hope this all helps. ❤
I am on vacation using my lil iPad to make this post. Since, it is Christmas tomorrow, I thought I would share a few unexpected quotes from various people in “Party in my dorm” iPad game. PIMD is currently my fave time waster game. The chat is always super thirsty yet entertaining at the same time. Here ya go! Merry Christmas!