I been checking Steam lately for gaming deals and I have been recommended a shit ton of these games. It says its because I played some nudity game which I think is Conan Exiles. (I swear!) After checking into these games, I realized there is a lot of lonely desperate and horny men out there.
Reading the reviews was actually pretty hilarious. Here are a few of my favorite ones that I read. These are all from Dick, Dine and Dash.
Surviving Second Life with some pro tips thrown in.
(Written with the help of my friend, Gigi)
Second Life has been a social game that’s been around for over a decade now. There’s not much point to it. There is no end game. It’s just a place where people can socialize in a virtual realm. It’s a place where I have met many friends and a few fuck wits. It is still a place where I will log into for a chat and have a nice relax. Like all games, if you can call it that, there are rules. So here is a very loose guide for surviving Second Life.
Appearance matters. If you look like a noob, you are treated like one. This is completely shitty but true.
Avoid “Breedables.” They cause lag and suck the linden out of your wallet. On an off note, you can’t see them breed.
Singing in a Karaoke contest does not make you a professional singer in Second Life.
Never cam or send real life pictures. You never know what porn site they might end up on.
Meeting people in real life is going to be a disaster 90% of the time, unless you know them for over 4 years and even then, they may end up being a racist redneck from Jersey.
Most female avatars are male. Very few females are male avatars.
Second Life is overrun with narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and a few borderlines. All the gaslighting can be exhausting.
Ghosting is a thing and a lot of the Second Life population is dying of cancer.
If somebody asks you to pose on the ball, say no. They just want to ass rape you.
Nobody in Second life is ugly in Real life.
There are modeling classes in Second Life. Passing this course, does not actually make you a model in SL.
AFK hookers are a profession in Second Life.
Never give out your password to anybody. (Not even the love of your life in SL)
Very few Second Life relationships last longer than a month.
If you are going to “disappear” and “reappear” as an alt, don’t hang out at the same locations as before and try to pick up the same women. We know who you are, dipshit.
Gachas will ruin your life.
Don’t put your home landmark in your profile. People will stalk and put tracking devices there. (Welcome)
Flexi is not sexy. Neither is white hair with bad tans and 80’s eagle tattoos.
Don’t be too judge-y in SL, even with the people wearing cow utters carrying a milking machine.
People will judge you.
Free stuff isn’t always good.
Organize your inventory and label those fucking folders.
Second Life is filled with perversion and some nice music.
Everybody has alts and sometimes, they are dual logged.
If you want people to speak with you, then keep your dick in your pants.
Make your dick size realistic if you do need to have it hanging out.
Chat hubs are a cesspool of stupidity and will melt your mind.
Being an SL designer requires hard work….repeat….HARD WORK. It is not easy, and you will not be rich.
Use the Firestorm viewer. (Welcome)
Make your crosshairs private.
Learn to cam. It will help you shop in a place with tons of lag.
If you went the extra mile and bought a mesh body, match the neck to the head. I can’t take it anymore.
If you go to a club, it is not a rule that you have to play a gesture constantly.
Don’t beg for Linden and do not give money to beggars.
Most Dom’s are subs.
If you must meet somebody in real Life after knowing them in Second Life, be sure to ask them their penis size. There is such a thing as being too big.
Sometimes, your ex boyfriends turn out to be secret furries.
Women will send you stolen pictures / fake nudes. Just quit asking for them. Match the hands / face/ breasts/ to all the pictures dumbass.
Don’t log off naked.
There will be times when you will somebody literally screwing anything. Just turn away.
You don’t have to voice verify with anybody. They just want to hear your sweet angel voice to jerk off to.
If you are going to combat in SL, realize there is lag because SL is not built to handle combat. So you do not need to say every few mins “Why is there so much lag.”
Hope this all helps. ❤
Kitty Powers’ Matchmaker
Genre: Dating / Stimulation
Summary: You work at a dating agency and you goal is to find love connections for your clients.
Here are the bad ones first: I think the graphics could be better. It’s not the worst that I have seen but definitely not great. Some parts of the game got a bit tedious especially if you ended up picking the same restaurant multiple times. The good part is that I thought the game was hilarious. I got several good chuckles from the situations that the characters were involved in and the game developers were really creative when it came to character names and hobbies. The mini games were challenging enough and in some cases, you could cheat if you wanted too. I don’t mind being a cheater so that worked for me. Below, there is a small guide for some tips & hints on how to play and do well.
I would recommend this especially if you are just looking for a relaxing casual game.
Kitty Powers’ Matchmaker Tips:
- Pay attention to how the character’s appearance and their attire. This is a clue on what type of personality they are. You have, for example, geeky, sporty, hippie, edgy and etc.
- Astrological signs are not that important. It helps but it’s not important to make a relationship work.
- You need two or more personality traits to match up in order for the characters to want to start a relationship. (This is the 3rd tab on the profile)
- 3 star rated characters do not like going to 1 start restaurants. VIP characters are even more picky. The date will give you a strike for this.
- Your date will give you a strike if you take them to the same restaurant twice.
- You can only talk about most topics one time with the exception of interests. You can talk about that up to 3 times with the same date. Do not pick the same interests each time though.
- You get bonus points if both characters have matching professions or matching hobbies / likes.
- If the character gets their heart broke three times, they will leave the agency.
- If their date reaches 3 strikes during dinner, the date will walk out of the restaurant.
- Every time, you unlock a restaurant; you are also unlocking new mini games.
- If you know your date is an extrovert, you don’t have to worry about passing the farting mini game. An extrovert will not care if you fart.
- A date, who is an extrovert, will not care if you talk to your ex in the restaurant. You will not have to lie. If you are on a date with an introvert, you will have to lie or you will get a strike from your date.
- In order for a couple to have children, they will have to be an A / A + pair.
Dream Daddy – A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Roleplaying and complete & utter fantasy
Summary: A Dad Dating Simulator where you play a dad with daughter, who recently just moved into town. Of course, the first thing a dad wants to do is romance other hot dads!
I have not played this game and probably never will because this screams hot mess to me. I’m also not interested in unrealistic role-play no matter how cool the outfits are. Oddly, this game has a high rating too. It looks like you can build your dad with different looks and then meet random men at various locations. I’m assuming to hook up. The examples of dads (Picture below) does not appeal to me. We have what looks like a vampire, a frat boy and a dirty bike mechanic with an alcohol problem. Then beside him, it is says “Build that dad! With a picture of a guy that looks like he has moobs and shops at hot topic. It looks like the demographic for this game would be young gay / bi-sexual male gamers that love to date men with children. Which is not a wide marketing field there.
Since, I have never played it; I can only speculate how the game play would be. Here goes: Day one: Build your very own dad and dress him in a sexy outfit. (Polo shirt and hot pants) Day two: Meet another hot dad at the local biker bar where drinks are ½ price until 7 pm. After you had a few minutes of small talk and are well past drunk, you make out with other hot dad in the back alley. Day three: Hungover and bruised, you explained to your daughter how you use her as a prop to lure in other hot dads and that her mother is missing. (Boating accident, you believe) Day four: Two hot dads fight for your affection! One is an out of shape millionaire and the other is a poor Latino pool boy, who will you choose! I could go on forever with this but I won’t.
I cannot recommend this since I won’t even play it myself. Maybe if they could come out with another addition (part two), moms looking for mediocre men that aren’t complete fucks, I would play that.
I’m not sure this qualifies as a tutorial because I’m really not that helpful in this video but I’m going to label it a tutorial anyway. I did not want to be kicked from YouTube (especially after zooming in on a mesh vagina) so I’m just uploading it to my site.
Any questions / requests for tutorials – let me know here or send me a notecard: veruca vandyke
I will add them to the list.
New video on YouTube! Tour of a new role-play sim!. Great place to check out if you like role-play, photography, hanging out or even renting a home.
If you are interested in role playing or photography in an urban setting then check out “The Last Stop.”
There’s a mime there but you can just pepper spray him when you see him. (Fucking mimes)
Some pictures of the sim:
A couple of us opened a new sim for Urban roleplay; so if you enjoy roleplaying – check it out. The Last Stop.
Also, KoKoLoReS has a new hair out for Gacha Garden. It’s super cute.
Hair: [KoKoLoReS] Hair – Julie
Head: CATWA HEAD Lona
Skin: .Atomic. Gacha_Elf Catwa Applier – Honey 4
Ears: .:[PUMEC] :. – / Mesh Ears\
Body: Maitreya Lara
Top: -tres blah- Knotted Tank
Location: The Last Stop