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Dear Veruca: My life killing gacha crack addiction

Here is this week’s Dear Veruca! Enjoy!

I’m addicted to gacha.  How can I over come this addiction because I’m really broke?

Answer:  This is a really toughie because I bet your gambling addiction is full fledge right about now. You probably have the night sweats and violent mood swings.  You look over at your real- life lover while they are watching tv and eating a bucket of fried chicken; pondering how to profit from selling their organs.  Each night you can’t sleep.  Your teeth grind together and occasionally, you scream.  You need your goddamn gacha and you need it now.  In that moment, you sit and catch your breath.  You are stunned that your life has been destroyed by fake cartoon toys in a video game.

I’m going to try to help you or at least attempt too:

Therapy:   I hear talking is a good way to deal with your problems.

Medication:  Wipe your gacha addiction away with another addiction.

3rd option:  Quit being a pussy and stop spending your money.

 

I have been in Second Life for a while and I still haven’t met any friends.  Any advice?

Answer:   I think most of Second Life is batshit crazy but when I’m in the mood to find a life long friend; I do this.   I find the most crowded places but not chat hubs.  I stand in the corner looking cool and wait for somebody else who is desperate for a friend to message me.  Then I make them answer like 100 question survey to determine if they are really friendship material or just horny fucks.  If they pass that; I add them to my skype for a 90-day trial period and if they spam me with emoji’s or messages, I immediately block their ass.   I keep starting this process over and over until I find a good egg.  I almost made a connection back in 2007 but it ended as briefly as started.  Good luck.

 

If you have a good question and you need helpful but mediocre advice; send veruca vandyke a note card.

Dear Veruca: Ugly noob cock, Pushy friends and Hiding genders. Your questions answered!

I have some friends that demand I answer their messages right away.

a.       Tell your friends to fuck off and that you are busy or try to get better friends.  Find a stoner because they usually forget that they messaged you in the first place.

Why do people get upset if my cock doesn’t match my skin because in real life it doesn’t match?

a.       Your cock hopefully is only a little bit darker than your natural skin tone or a relatively close match to it.  If it’s twenty shades darker or orange, that’s where the issues come in.   I might be the only one on this but I’m not interested in seeing your weird dick either way. I would not get upset though. I would see you and go “Oh, there’s another dumb naked bastard.” If you know that people are getting upset at your off colored cock; why don’t you try to do one of the following:  A. Change the color of the cock to be more pleasant.  B.  Put the cock away because nobody wants to see it.  C. Throw the cock away.  Good luck.

If somebody’s profile says “No voice, no skype.”  Are they hiding their gender?

a.       Yeah, they probably are or they are like me and I hate being asked to skype/voice with them under the pretense of friendship when really, they just want to masturbate with their tiny digits while they make me listen.  I don’t know how many people have asked me to voice right from the get go.  I usually give the same answer “Fuck no.” Then they get all emo and are like “Wah..you must be a man!  I’m never talking to you again.”  Also, some people can’t voice because they have a family or at work etc.  If you need somebody to voice chat with you and it’s super important to have that in this game, then go to locations that encourage patrons to voice chat.  There’s a lot of them.  The designation guide can help you with this because personally, I wish people would quit asking me to voice chat.  I don’t want to hear your weird shit.  

 

Thank you to those that have sent me questions.  I still have a few more to answer and that will be coming soon.  If you want to send me a question – write it on a notecard and send it to veruca vandyke in Second Life.

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