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Dumpster Fire: IPAD time waster

Party In My Dorm

Genre: Social

Summary:  Leveling up your character to earn cash and fight in party battles.

Thoughts:

I have seen the ad for this game everywhere and I resisted the urge to download it because I thought it would be incredibly stupid. Two days ago, I thought why not; it is a free download and I can review it on my site.  I still think it is incredibly stupid but I found myself actually enjoying it in all it’s stupid glory. The premise of the game starts out with you (your avie) in college and living in a dorm.  In this dorm, you rent out rooms to other students.  These students help improve your intelligent & strength stats.  On a side note, this game is not realistic at all.  The stats that you build up are important in several areas but mostly in battles. You need a lot of cash to advance in the game and there is several ways to do this without using real money.   I didn’t get the impression that you had to put in any real money into the game unless you wanted too. I put in a couple of dollars because I did not want the default avatars.  The most fascinating aspect of this game was the chat area.   It was a big deep pool of perverts and a cluster fuck of horny young men.  I really felt at home there.  There was also a high volume of lesbians and that surprised me. With all this social interaction, it was a little overwhelming especially when the club leader tried to find me a boyfriend kind of without my permission.   Since it’s only day two of the game, I felt I needed to wait on having a gamer boyfriend.   I did get a myriad of boyfriend offers after I posted that I was looking for “a mediocre man with waxed balls.”  (See picture below)  So if I was in desperate need of a gamer boyfriend, I know I can definitely find at least a mediocre one with smooth balls. That was very hopeful.   Another thing I noticed in chat was that people were constantly asking for role play.  I was not sure if their definition of role play was the same as mine.  My idea of role play is typing out several paragraphs to form a story with another person as the character you set up.   I have not jumped into role play in this game to see if anybody actually did that or if they just typed horny filth to each other.  If I do a follow up, I will let everybody know.

Recommend: Even though, there isn’t a ton of brains required for this game, I do find this enjoyable.  It is also free so that is a bonus.  I would recommend this if you are into social games and don’t mind a bunch of horny fucks messaging you constantly.

Ipad Time Waster Games: Cookie Jam

Cookie Jam

Genre: Puzzles / Matching

My thoughts:

This is a pretty decent puzzle game.  It’s very similar to other puzzle matching games out there.  It has nice clear graphics and there are lots of levels to try and beat.  I did not find this one as interesting as “Best Friends” but it still wasn’t bad.  I think it will boil down to just preference. With this game, you will hear a random French man constantly saying in his little accent “KooooooKie Jhamm.”  It’s so repetitive that it will be engrained in your brain for a week straight.

Recommend:

I would recommend this if you like puzzles & pastries. The French guy might get on your nerves or it might just tickle your funny bone.  You decide.

Ipad Time Waster Games: Airport Police Dog Duty Sim

Airport Police Dog Duty Sim

Genre: No Idea

Summary:  You are a police dog that fights crime and sniffs out drugs.

My thoughts:

This is another game, I have not played because just the name of it is fucking retarded.  Surely, they could have come up with a better name than “Airport Police Dog Duty Sim.”   From the picture alone, it looks like the dog finds bad people and attacks them at airports. Which to be honest, it’s the best place to find bad people and it is the best place to watch somebody be attack by a dog.  (Especially in the food court) It shows that you have several controls over the dog and can decide what path the dog will take.  Will the dog sniff out drugs in luggage or somebody’s ass?  You decide!

Recommend:

This does have a high rating despite the stupid name.  I am still giving it a hard-pass because I’m not into dogs or butt sniffing. If they throw in some cavity searches, I may change my mind.  If you are into dogs and airports then this might be the game for you.

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