Dear Veruca

I’m adding a new section to this site.  I feel that there is so many people in Second life that really need my mediocre advice.  So I am here for you.  Over this past week, I have received a few questions and I spent some time at my real life job preparing the answers instead of actually working.   If you have a question for me – Please, send a note card to: Veruca Vandyke

Q: My boyfriend wants to be a furry and I don’t know what to do.

A: I really feel for you receiving this tragic news.  Your boyfriend was a human Second Life avie one minute and in the next moment; he turned into something hairy and flea infested.  It must be a very confusing time for you.  This is a pivotal moment where you need to decide how much you actually like him?  Is he charming enough to carry though a few more weeks of your serious second life relationship before his real-life wife catches him?  Can he still emote like a human instead of a dog?  Are you even a pet lover? If the pros outweigh the con’s; then I would proceed with your relationship.  Maybe a good way to cope is to buy him a collar and take him for walks.

Q: I find it very off putting but when I’m heavy petting my girlfriend in SL. She will not remove her shoes?  Is this normal?

A: I understand your pain here.  It takes a lot of energy to convince somebody to sit on a pose ball and then to furiously type out your romantic intentions only to realize they are too lazy to take off their shoes.  It’s a rude awakening.  I’m afraid there is no subtle way to tell anybody without them getting offended.  Believe me, I have tried many, many ways. I have tried emoting, for example “/me takes off his shoes and tosses the heavy boots out the window. She watches the dog gnaw on them for a bit. She smiles and then proceeds to drape her body over his; whispering lowly in his ear on how their second life love will be eternal. “  I have also created a square prim over their feet but was accused of being insensitive.  So really, there is no win-win. You can either close your eyes as you type out your emote or just find somebody that understands your way of life.

Q: My friend looks like a noob and it’s embarrassing.  How do I tell them?

A: I think we all have that noob-ish friend that just won’t update their shit but help is here. Always trap them into a corner while carefully selecting your words.  Start out with something that will help them maintain their dignity, humanity or whatever ailment that they have and foremost, be respectful!  I look into their scared system eyes and say “Hey insert name, I like you.  You are a good person with a big caring heart but I wanted to mention that some people are comparing your style to desperate chat hub molesters.  Not me, of course, other people with damning evil souls.  Let’s go update you to mesh.”  It can be really that easy.